Eyes Without a Face review

Eyes Without a Face (1960)

Original title: Les yeux sans visage

Synopsis:

A surgeon causes an accident which leaves his daughter disfigured and goes to extreme lengths to give her a new face.

Beautiful women were the victims of his FIENDISH FACIALS!!!

*Spoilers*

We start dramatically with the image of a woman dumping a corpse into a river, just outside Paris. When the body is inevitably retrieved from the water, a surgeon – Dr. Génessier – identifies it as his missing daughter Christiane, whose face was hideously disfigured in a car accident. Everyone figures that Christiane has simply had enough of life with her facial disfigurement and drowned herself.

Dr. G and his pearl-necklace loving assistant Louise host Christiane’s funeral before returning home to the doctor’s massive mansion where he lives with a lab full of caged dogs. Louise, btw is the woman from our opener, the glam body dumper.

Back home the pair greet the real Christiane, for she isn’t really dead after all! Turns out Dr. G is conducting experimental surgery to give his daughter back her looks (and subsequently her life), using faces from pretty young women, targeted by Louise. Dr. G feel extra responsible as he was driving and caused the accident that disfigured his daughter.

While Lou doesn’t relish her role in the tricking of these victims, she does owe her own beautiful looks to the doctor, following her own facial disfigurement.

Christiane is locked away, hidden behind a mask while Dr. G tinkers with the perfect facial graft. Unfortunately, his daughter is fast losing faith in his methods, and the continual failure of his surgeries, which so far haven’t taken. Convinced the next surgery will be the one, the doc works on his next specimen after Louise lures beautiful Swiss Edna back to the mansion.

Meanwhile, Christiane secretly calls her fiancé Jacques on the telephone, even though she’s supposed to be dead. While she hangs up without speaking, suspicion is aroused. Christiane also plays with her father’s dogs, who accept her love without questioning it, because they’re dogs for fuck’s sake and should be protected at all costs.

All this becomes a problem when Christiane dials Jacques’ digits again and this time whispers his name. Of course this leads him to the police who are already investigating a series of missing young women, all of who share Edna’s characteristics – blue eyes, same features.

As Christiane’s latest facial transplant begins to fail, along with her faith, the feds close in on the sad doctor and Miss Louise. How can this conceivably end well for any of our characters? Well, that’s down to you to find out.

My thoughts

I love this movie. It’s been on my watchlist for tiiiiime. Some of the frames are absolutely stunning and iconic – and I really leant into the storyline which is so melancholic. Who wouldn’t do exactly the same for a loved one as Dr. G? I like the comment the film makes about beauty and judgement – and really feel for Christiane, the girl almost forgotten behind the mask.

I don’t have any criticisms per se, it really is a wonderfully Gothic feeling movie with stellar central performances and interesting make-up effects. Maybe some of the more procedural scenes lack punch but that’s about it. All in all, a stone cold slapping piece of horror.

My rating

4 out of 5

Find out what Jill thinks here.

Good Boy review

Good Boy (2022)

Synopsis:

Christian – a millionaire heir, meets Sigrid – a young student, on a dating app. They hit it off quickly, but there’s only one problem: Christian lives with Frank, a man who dresses up and constantly acts like a dog.

Dating is hard enough without the introduction of a slightly off key kink before the bar bill has even been paid, but this the position Sigrid finds herself in when she matches with hot piece Christian on a dating app.

After a good date, the pair spend the night together but in the morning, our girl is unsettled to learn that Chris lives with a dog called Frank. Well, a man in a dog costume called Frank. Despite Christian’s protests for her to stay and hear him out, Sigrid runs for the hills.

On reflection – while talking it through with her room mate – she has a change of heart. Absolutely nothing to do with the fact Christian is a trust fund baby, set to inherit millions. So Sigrid gives him a second chance, determined to remain open-minded about whatever this set-up is.

Christian, in addition to his wealth, is actually a sweet enough guy with good looks to match, so when he explains that Frank wants to live the way he does, she’s happy enough to accept that. Frank does get a little over-enthused on their first meeting however, prompting a wobble on Sigrid’s part but she styles it out and the relationship progresses.

Things take a turn when the pair go away for the weekend and Christian suggests they lock their phones away so they can remain focussed on each other. Massive red flag but you go off, Christian. Sigrid isn’t happy by any means but concedes that maybe it’s okay until a sinister reveal has her wishing she had the means to Je Téléphone á la Police.

Is Frank really what he appears to be, and for that matter, is handsome, perfect Christian? OBVIOUSLY NOT but maybe (?) not in the ways you’ll expect.

My thoughts

There’s not a lot to this really but it does say a fair amount about wealth and rich privilege. Christian lives in an abnormal way and gets away with it because he has the resources to isolate himself from society when he likes. He’s also rich and for the most part we know rich people swan about acting exactly as they wish with zero consequences.

There’s also a comment in here somewhere about tolerance of people’s kinks and I appreciate that. Had it all been above board (and of course it isn’t), who are we to deny a person their right to live as a dog? If it’s two square meals and 23/7 napping then I’d even be tempted to sign up. Though maybe I’d make a better cat.

My critique is that the metaphor feels half-baked and I reallllly wish it had committed more to the bit. The reveal isn’t that surprising and the ending either – but I would have been okay with that had there been more balls to the wall Dog Vs. Man face off.

My rating

3 out of 5

Find out what Jill thinks here.

El Conde review

El Conde (2023)

Director: Pablo Larraín
Starring: Jaime Vadell, Gloria Münchmeyer, Alfredo Castro

Synopsis:

After living 250 years in this world, Augusto Pinochet, who is not dead but an aged vampire, decides to die once and for all.

Pinochet, after way too long on this earth, would really like to die now please. Outed as a vampire in the 18th century, he flees the country after an attempt on his life – and winds up in Chile. Renamed Augusto Pinochet, our man rises through the ranks to finally become the country’s dictator in 1973.

When the authorities catch up with him, with concerns about where his vast wealth has come from – and questions about all the heinous human rights violations he’s been responsible for – Pinochet fakes his death again and flees with his wife Lucia to a remote farmhouse.

Now Pinochet has lost his will to live and longs for the sweet kiss of death.

Living with the Pinochets is man butler Fyodor, a white Russian who was bitten by “The Count” and also turned into a vampire. One night he takes Pinochet’s uniform and goes out on a brutal killing spree. Eager to get their hands on their inheritance, and convinced that of course Pinochet was responsible for the murders (by way of being possessed by a demon), his children hire a nun called Carmen to exorcise and murder their father.

The nun, under the guise of showing up to audit the family’s wealth, easily charms Pinochet who’s just found out his wife is having an affair with his butler. This new attraction eventually comes to a head when the Pinochet decides to give Carmen a gift he’s held back from his wife. Oh, and then Maggie Thatcher shows up.

Will Pinochet lean into a new lease of life? Will Mrs P finally get her wish? And most importantly, will everyone just stop getting bit?

My thoughts

Stylistically, this film is a bit of me and I love the set up and idea. It starts gory which is always a plus but then, it just doesn’t quite hit the mark somehow. Maybe it’s the extended discussion about inheritance, property and bank accounts that hurts it when really I’d like to know more about the war crimes or focus on the action at hand in the present.

There are moments of amusement, some snappy dialogue (usually from Carmen) and again it hits the spot aesthetically, I just wanted a bit more.

My rating

3 out of 5

Find out what Jill thinks here.

The Witch: Part 1 – The Subversion review

I’ve had my eye on this week’s film for a little while, mainly because I thought it was about an actual witch. Turns out it’s not but don’t be fooled by the lack of supernatural action, there’s plenty of genetically engineered physical action to be had instead.

I’ll say this, Korean movies just seem to be the very best, I don’t think they ever do anything by halves and I’m delighted to report this flick already has a sequel, so if Jill’s game we may revisit the universe again sometime soon.

Blood Quantum review

I’m glad to be back in a regular blogging groove with my boo Jill but it’s taking a bit of adjustment to post on time. While we – I – get to grips with that, I’m doing my best, I swear. Life seems especially challenging at the moment, on all levels, so there’s no beating ourselves up about anything.

With that in mind, this week we see ‘Zeds’ and Indigenous people come to blows on an Indian reserve in the most explosive way – and I’m here for it.

Perpetrator film review

We’re back! After an extended break from thinking about the blog collab for a while, driven for me by bigger life *things*, I am excited to get back on the horse.

We kick off our soft relaunch with a brand new indie horror movie (obvs) – coinciding with Spooky Season. If only the sun would fuck off so we can fully bed into pre-Halloween season without guilt.

Sharkenstein review

NB: Review from July posted very late.

We swerve very slightly to the left with a new theme for July: LGBT+ vs. Shark movies. This is in the hope that someday, somehow we stumble across the perfect hybrid of the two (be careful what you wish for, Jillian).

Until that day comes though, we’ll just mix it up and have a little fun, starting with perhaps the best film I’ve seen this week (it’s Wednesday).

Attack of the 50 ft. Cheerleader review

If you like your comedy on the buoyant side then this week’s pick is probably for you. It also wraps up a delightful B-Movie month which, while the films won’t be winning any awards between them, have been a degree or two of entertaining – even if the star ratings don’t reflect that.

Tell Me I’m Worthless book review

Tell Me I’m Worthless by Alison Rumfitt

SYNOPSIS:

A dark, unflinching haunted house novel that takes readers from the well of the literary gothic, up through Brighton’s queer scene, and out into the heart of modern day trans experience in the UK.

One night in an abandoned building in an unnamed city, BFF trio Alice, Ila and Hannah witness something akin to true evil. Forever changed by the horrible experiences they have within the house – in ways neither of them understand – only two of the girls escape back into ‘the real world’.

D-Railed review

B-Movie month has been very much a mixed bag as you’d expect. Intros seem superfluous at this stage so this one won’t break any new ground, but I will say: this week’s film very much commits to being one thing and then delivers another. It might not work (in my opinion) but I admire the balls.

NOTE: Not to be confused with the 2005 Clive Owen/Jennifer Aniston starring film of a very similar name.

Brooklyn 45 review

Apologies for the late posting this week, I had a wobble on Wednesday then got sick and spent the whole day yesterday in bed. I’m feeling much better now, and finally feel strong enough to finish this post and hit that PUBLISH button.

Ghosts, potential Nazi spies, interrogation, secrets and lies all form this week’s film – but at what ghost, I wonder?

Bingo Hell review

Grannies against gentrification! What could be more wonderful than that?

Jill and I plow on with this week’s B-movie offering – which is the fifth instalment in the anthological Welcome to the Blumhouse film series. The good news is that, if we get stuck for inspo later in the month, we can always just dip into the rest of the collection.