Emergency review

Imagine your only concern on this one night is getting into as many parties as possible – and maybe taking your crush home for a good seeing to? Honestly, that sounds stressful as hell to me: several parties on the same night? Talking to your crush, let alone trying to bed them? I’d rather stay home. But, say this is your situation – low level stakes, right?

Well, what if you’re not a middle-aged white woman? What if every move you make is very different to the moves you’d make as a white person? This is where we find ourselves this week when Sean, Kunle and Carlos find an unfamiliar (and underaged) white girl passed out on their living room floor.

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Causeway review

More Awards-worthy talking this week with this rumination on life after tragedy and horror. Which might not sound exactly fun but hey, not all our films can be about lesbian mermaids, unfortunately.

In other news it’s colder than a witch’s tit around these parts so all I want to do is pad around in extra-woolly socks, watching films and shrugging to myself as all the amazing, life-changing activities I was supposed to be doing by now slip through my fingers. I’ll start anew on the 1st Feb, okay? Jesus, get off my back Mum.

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The Menu review

We’re back after a lovely December hiatus with Awards films (or those that could find themselves nominated this coming awards season). Whether this tasty black comedy actually finds itself in receipt of a statuette remains to be seen but it should be praised – not only for Anya’s ethereal central performance but for the reasons I’ll outline poorly below.

Apart from being back on the Collab films, January has started in much the same way as it always does: without much fanfare. I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in the “New Year, New Me” brigade’s grand statements of bucking against nature to become more creative, successful and beautiful than ever before – and then wondering why I’m such a failure because I haven’t achieved it all by the 09 January.

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The Wonder review

It’s unusual not to have Florence Pugh twirling in circles in a flower crown, honestly but sometimes you have to keep an open mind. I won’t give away my view of this psychological thriller in the first paragraph, but I will say that, if you’re looking for a film about sainthood and the concept of martyrdom, maybe watch Martyrs (the original) instead.

Based on the novel of the same name by Emma Donoghue, The Wonder follows an English nurse, Elizabeth “Lib” Wright to a new post in rural Ireland, where she must keep an eye on a young girl on a hunger strike, who appears – miraculously – to be healthy and well.

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Blood Rage review

I never need an excuse to crack out the horror, obviously but this world is a trash fire and the only feasible release I can see right now is of the unhinged variety.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to look too far for our next dose of the deranged, although sadly it wasn’t Jill’s first or even second choice. Apparently, even in the year 2022, the UK is still behind the US in terms of some film releases.

But we move. Whether we like it or not, we have to move.

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Old People review

The old and infirm seem to be having a renaissance in horror right now (see X most recently) and I for one am here for it.

Getting older is a terrifying prospect in itself but juxtapose that with attractive young people, a creepy AF setting, zero chill – and you get something like this German horror film.

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Hellraiser 2022 review

Us: “Halloween is over…”
Amazon Prime, releasing the new Hellraiser without fanfare: “You sure, hun?”

This week we finally get to grips with a new Pinhead, a whole new slant on the puzzle box and ponder the yassification of our beloved Cenobites. And it feels like a very exciting time to be alive. Horror this year, in my humble opinion, has been pretty good so where does this baby fit into it all?

Well, grab your whips and chains – and let me excite you.

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Newsletter 011 – Remember, remember

It’s newsletter time, yo and as I sit down to think about what’s been happening, I fear I don’t have much to say. My life is all about my dog and watching horror films, with the occasional meal out, and sometimes a deep and meaningful conversation.

With that in mind I’ll break this into work, life, play segments to keep it coherent.

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31 Horrors 2022 – overview

This Halloween we managed 27/31 horrors and I’m pretty stoked with that. It was fun having a new theme each day which meant we did films I don’t normally do when left to my own devices. I also use ‘we’ here because the old man was much more involved than previous years so that made it way more fun.

If I’m completely honest, outside the challenge I watched much more than 27 but I’m sure that’s not much of a surprise. So, to the films we watched for the #31dayhorrorchallenge, courtesy of Nightmare on Film Street podcast.

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Horror in the High Desert review

It’s with sadness we kiss goodnight to our wonderful month of horror movies, safe in the knowledge we’ll no doubt watch at least one next month and then the month after that. Because you can’t keep a set of spooky bitches confined to just one holiday.

This week we spend time in the high desert searching for a missing person and ponder the eternal question: “Why are you going back, you bloody idiot?”

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Cosy TV for Spooky Season

Spooky Season is the best, I think we can all agree. Thankfully Netflix does as they’ve released some truly comforting* shows to enjoy under the covers with a sinister snack of your choice.

Here’s what I’m currently into.

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