It’s newsletter time, yo and as I sit down to think about what’s been happening, I fear I don’t have much to say. My life is all about my dog and watching horror films, with the occasional meal out, and sometimes a deep and meaningful conversation.
With that in mind I’ll break this into work, life, play segments to keep it coherent.
I thought I’d be a bit more serious today, because why the fuck not? Sometimes you’ve got to admit things are less than good and take a moment to ponder the next step.Things haven’t been great for anyone over the last couple of years and it’s taken me longer than I thought it would to get back into life. I just haven’t been myself for a long time and I’m kind of done with it.
Work have an avenue you can explore which gives you eight sessions with a therapist and I start next week. I’m kind of terrified about what I’ll learn about myself but I’m ready to do the work. I had a couple of sessions with someone years and years ago but I think I’ve blocked most of that experience out of my mind. I think I’m probably mature enough now to articulate better so I hope it will be helpful and healthy.
Yesterday was a very important day, spiritually. According to numerologists, it was one of those once in a lifetime kind of days packed with psychic meaning – and a perfect opportunity to manifest change. I’m not going to pretend I have much grip on how it all works but I can accept that dates like this don’t come around all the time. And I could feel it was important, which is some freaky deaky shit.
You can read more here.
I’ve been feeling a change coming for a while. It’s mostly been the desire to draw a line under the last two years and say enough is enough. I want my fucking life back and I’m sure we’re all feeling the same way. So I’m taking it and if I have to buy into a spiritual landmark of a date to vow change then I damn well will.
The change isn’t even that dramatic – though I did go super blonde again which is definitely part of it. I’ve decided to stop selling myself short. I’m not really that bad of a person and although the super bitch inside my head likes to tell me I’ve wasted a lifetime, learnt nothing, achieved nothing and can offer nothing, I know she’s just bitter and twisted – and born of an abusive period in my life.
She’s a dick, basically. Here and now I vow to take away her power and believe in my own. I must be onto something in life because I have the most wonderful people around me and they have good taste, right? And that’s another thing, I’ve always relied on the validation of other people and although that’s natural, I have to be able to give myself the thumbs up too.
So here they are, the things I wish to change. From today I will:
- Stop with the self-deprecation and accept that I am good at things and am a bountiful healthy woman
- I will try not to get angry at other people – their ignorance or rudeness says things about them and not me
- I will set time aside to work on my self-development (and complete my copywriting qualification)
- I will not fill the void with stuff – and work on the clutter around me
- I will see friends and family – nothing else matters
How about you?