Category Archives: The Movies

The Wonder review

It’s unusual not to have Florence Pugh twirling in circles in a flower crown, honestly but sometimes you have to give the benefit of the doubt and keep an open mind. I won’t give away my view of this psychological thriller in the first paragraph, but I will say that, if you’re looking for a film about sainthood and the concept of martyrdom, maybe watch Martyrs (the original) instead.

Based on the novel of the same name by Emma Donoghue, The Wonder follows an English nurse, Elizabeth “Lib” Wright to a new post in rural Ireland, where she must keep an eye on a young girl on a hunger strike, who appears – miraculously – to be healthy and well.

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Blood Rage review

I never need an excuse to crack out the horror, obviously but this world is a trash fire and the only feasible release I can see right now is of the unhinged variety.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to look too far for our next dose of the deranged, although sadly it wasn’t Jill’s first or even second choice. Apparently, even in the year 2022, the UK is still behind the US in terms of some film releases.

But we move. Whether we like it or not, we have to move.

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Old People review

The old and infirm seem to be having a renaissance in horror right now (see X most recently) and I for one am here for it.

Getting older is a terrifying prospect in itself but juxtapose that with attractive young people, a creepy AF setting, zero chill – and you get something like this German horror film.

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Hellraiser 2022 review

Us: “Halloween is over…”
Amazon Prime, releasing the new Hellraiser without fanfare: “You sure, hun?”

This week we finally get to grips with a new Pinhead, a whole new slant on the puzzle box and ponder the yassification of our beloved Cenobites. And it feels like a very exciting time to be alive. Horror this year, in my humble opinion, has been pretty good so where does this baby fit into that conclusion?

Well, grab your whips and chains – and let me excite you.

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31 Horrors 2022 – overview

This Halloween we managed 27/31 horrors and I’m pretty stoked with that. It was fun having a new theme each day which meant we did films I don’t normally do when left to my own devices. I also use ‘we’ here because the old man was much more involved than previous years so that made it way more fun.

If I’m completely honest, outside the challenge I watched much more than 27 but I’m sure that’s not much of a surprise. So, to the films we watched for the #31dayhorrorchallenge, courtesy of Nightmare on Film Street podcast.

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Horror in the High Desert review

It’s with sadness we kiss goodnight to our wonderful month of horror movies, safe in the knowledge we’ll no doubt watch at least one next month and then the month after that. Because you can’t keep a set of spooky bitches confined to just one holiday.

This week we spend time in the high desert searching for a missing person and ponder the eternal question: “Why are you going back, you bloody idiot?”

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She Will review

Jill and I are always partial to a witchy tale and have covered more than a few in our time. This week’s film is no exception, with very pleasing results, by way of not so pleasant subject matter, including sexual assault, ageing out of a chosen career and having to socialise against our will.

With that in mind, heavy TRIGGER WARNINGS for assault, which is implied rather than overtly explained, but it’s horrific nonetheless.

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Crystal Eyes review

We don’t half explore some bonkers movies on this blog. It’s the beauty of the collab honestly and although it doesn’t always hit the spot, it does lead to some interesting discussions/reviews.

This week’s pick is certainly on the odd side, taking us into the cold embrace of the fashion industry in the 1980s, by way of many, many classic Giallo tropes. Does it work? You know what to do.

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My Best Friend’s Exorcism review

It’s finally the best month of the year and obviously we’re marking spooky season with as much horror as we can stomach (which is a lot).

This week’s pick, and our official first Collab film of October, is an adaptation of Grady Hendrix’s novel of the same name. It’s a book I enjoyed so I was pretty stoked to stumble across the film version – which admittedly – and IMO – appeared without much fanfare this week on Amazon Prime.

Shall we?

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The Mad Women’s Ball review

I’ve lost track of where we are theme wise this month – in a free for all free fall I think – which isn’t a bad thing in the lead up to Horror season.

This week we attend Victor Hugo’s funeral, smoke cigarettes in tiny bars and suffer massive injustice in an institute for the mentally insane. Take a drink every time a doctor diagnoses hysteria.

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Swan Song review

It’s a wild time to be alive right now, what with the adventure of the last few years, the chaos of British/American politics and now the passing of Elizabeth II. This post is a day later than planned due to yesterday’s bank holiday here in the UK, for the Queen’s state funeral.

While I could wax lyrical on my view of the royal family for hours, I’m leaving it alone – though I did shed a small tear for the only monarch I’ve ever known (to date). It’s just sad when a grandmother passes away, no matter how you slice it and you can’t help but get to thinking about your loved ones, gone or not.

So that in mind, feeling emotionally fragile and comtemplative, this week’s film is a fine lament on legacy, loss and forgiveness – with a banging soundtrack and a wonderfully camp cherry on top.

Swan Song (2021)

“Bury her with bad hair.”

A formerly flamboyant hairdresser takes a long walk across a small town to style a dead woman’s hair.

Genre: Drama ∙ IMDB user rating: 7.0
My score: 4/5 ∙ Runtime: 97 mins

Director: Todd StephensStars: Udo Kier, Jennifer Coolidge

*Spoilers*

Pat (Kier), a once shit hot hair stylist (and local icon) is seeing out his final years in a dreary nursing home – a place that doesn’t suit him, let’s be real. One day he receives a visit from an old friend’s associate, who states she’s passed away and has requested he be the one to make her presentable before she shuffles into the afterlife (or wherever).

The friend – Rita Parker Sloan (Linda Evans) – is in a funeral home across town, waiting for her very last makeover – but Pat is unsure about the gig. Until he learns of the fee – a whopping $25,000. So begins Pat’s return to the world as he ventures beyond the walls of the home, towards Rita’s final resting place.

While the journey isn’t a long one, it takes Pat to some poignant places as he pays his respects to his late lover, looks up old friends and reacquaints himself with past enemies, including former muse turned frenemy, Dee Dee Dale (Coolidge). Will he make it to Rita’s side in one piece and send her on in the only way he knows how?

Possibly, but at what cost?

“Who could forget the Liberace of Sandusky?”
“Was I that butch?”

THOUGHTS

I loved this once it got going. It has a really pleasing soundtrack, looks lovely in its shabbiness and contains several moments of such beauty, they stuck in my throat. My favourite scene might be the one Pat shares with a one time client in a charity shop.

As Pat revisits old haunts, memory and fantasy blur so you can never be sure what’s 100% real but this lends it a dreamlike quality that works well. The segment where he catches up with his old friend Eunice is especially emotional and feels like wish fulfilment. Who doesn’t think back to the things we should’ve, could’ve said to the people we’ve loved?

All in all this is a real work of art, a beautiful lament on gay identity, ageing, legacy and forgiveness. It definitely made me think about what I’ll leave behind when I shuffle off – hopefully something even half as fabulous.

WHAT DOES JILL THINK? WOULD SHE SHASHAY ACROSS TOWN TO BLEACH ITS HAIR OR SHAVE IT DOWN TO A NUMBER 1 ALL OVER? FIND OUT HERE.